Being inevitably overjoyed over thing you’ve guarded of through all this time, but you can’t just put it aside as you’ve been slowly accustomed to it. And, between lone hours in the night, you feel like you’re blaming yourself for your weak self-guard as, metaphorically, you easily open the door without looking who’s coming.
But, yes, somehow you have to deal with this kind of thing. Thing people are looking for, longing for. Nay, for me. I need none of it, I’m afraid the pain will be torn again then the once-infected scars will be another pain to heal.
Maybe, some people are just too scared of themselves, of feeling hurt. Maybe, we’re taking too many painkiller tabs. Maybe, we’re sipping too much boozes. Maybe we’re partying too hard. Or maybe we’re just afraid of picturing ourselves in pain, in grief, in sorrow of nothingness; thus, we place ourselves in the middle of strange crowds.
But, yes, somehow you have to deal with this kinda of thing.
Yeah, you know what I’m talking ‘bout.